What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the practice of bringing our attention to the present moment in an open, non-judgmental manner. It is the skill of consciously bringing our attention to the here and now, and it is a form of meditation that can help with many day-to-day issues. Mindfulness is a skill that can be […]
Reposted from September 2014 I am continually surprised by how many people do not talk about sex with their partner/s. But then again, it’s really not surprising given that sex can be awkward and anxiety-provoking to talk about. Also, communication around sex is not encouraged in many modern cultures. In fact, it could be argued […]
Reposted from May 2015 Whilst a lot of what I write about here is aimed at enhancing people’s sex lives, it is also important to remember that having a good sex life does not have anything to do with getting it perfect. Unfortunately, in our media saturated world, many people end up comparing their sex […]
Reposted from September 28, 2016 In Emily Nagosky’s book Come as You Are, she comprehensively explains a really useful theory in sexuality research – The Dual Control Model of sexual response. Complicated name, but an incredibly user-friendly model. This is my summary of the most critical points in the theory, and how they might apply to our sex […]
Undergoing gynaecological exams (such as cervical screening or fertility related procedures) is commonly somewhat uncomfortable. It’s normal to feel some awkwardness or nervousness before and/or during these intimate exams. Fair enough – these are necessary but invasive procedures. And sometimes with a complete stranger. It is also common to feel some physical discomfort – the […]
How would you describe sexual desire? Feeling horny. Lusting for someone. Fantasising about sex. A passionate drive to make love. Well sure, if you’ve ever watched a movie with any kind of romantic or sexual theme, you know that this is how sexual desire is always portrayed. And if you’re not dog-with-a-bone about sex, then […]
For people who regularly experience fun and easy sex, it can be very easy to feel that sex is a valued part of their relationship/s. Add in sexual challenges though, and sex can start to feel more like a hinderance than a life-affirming activity. When sex is feeling complicated, the value of sexual intimacy can get lost […]
Sex-positivity is an attitude that views all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable. It encourages sexual expression, enjoyment and experimentation. Whilst there are many factors that can dampen sex and intimacy, it’s also important to remind ourselves that the glass can be half-full too. In the spirit of sex-positivity, here is a list of […]
Painful sex is incredibly distressing & confusing for those who experience it, and their partner/s. Sexual pain can be caused by a variety of medical factors, and it manifests in a variety of ways – such as chronic discomfort during sex, pain upon genital touching and/or penetration, or an inability to have penetration due to intense […]
Satisfying sex is not a given in all relationships, and there are certain factors that can predict a more positive and sustainable sex life. If enough of the conditions for enjoyable sex are met and prioritised, it is much easier to manage differences in sexual desire (desire discrepancies), to add novelty into your sex life, and […]